News: Nintendo's First Mobile Game Is Really, Really Bad

Nintendo's First Mobile Game Is Really, Really Bad

Nintendo rolls out its first smartphone-specific game in the U.S. on March 21st, and the main protagonist is... you. Well, your Mii, and it's not a game, but a social app.

What?!

Coming to both Android (you can sideload the app already via APK Mirror) and iOS, the app is called Miitomo, and centers around the Mii, Nintendo's personal avatar that debuted with the release of the company's Wii console.

Update: It's Out

Create a Mii by choosing all of its features, or take a selfie and the app tries its best to create a Mii that looks like you. Then you fine-tune your Mii, choosing its voice and personality.

From there you get into the meat of the app; The Mii asks you questions about yourself, you answer, and then it tells those answers to your friends so they can use their Miis to react.

Again... what?!

That's it. No princess saving, no fireballs—it's just everyone's Miis hanging out, asking questions and telling answers. The app will most likely be used for its ability to superimpose your Mii onto pictures, then sending those off via text or email. So instead of you in that selfie eating a fancy brunch with mimosas, it can be your Mii.

What a fun 'game!'

The app offers micro-transactions if you'd like to buy more clothes for your Mii, using Miitomo coins that you can either buy with real money or earn in-game. There's also a mini-game in which you drop your Mii and it falls down the screen bumping into platforms and spinning wheels until it lands on a prize, which would either be Miimoto coins or Mii clothes.

Released last week in Japan, Miitomo shot to the number one spot in the iOS App Store, having been downloaded over a million times, according to Business Insider. The app is the first of five in a deal Nintendo signed with the mobile publisher DeNA.

Is there hope for a real game in that lineup? Mario save us.

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"Is there hope for a real game in that lineup? Mario save us." —That about sums it up; it's the best statement ever.

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