I think I hate this game.
I don't really see how you can play more than 15 minutes of Tap Mania without smashing your head into a wall. You do nothing but tap. Tap, tap, tap. At least they got the name right.
My editor asked me "would you enjoy this game more if you followed pro wrestling?" The short answer is no, absolutely not. If any pro-wrestling fans disagree with me, let me know. But I don't think playing as a recognizable wrestler is enough to save this abysmal gameplay.
How bad is this game? Well, let's imagine what its pitch meeting was like:
Hey, remember Mike Tyson's Punch Out? Maybe we should do something like that! Only, instead of requiring the character to dodge and time their attacks, just having them spam the same button over and over again until they want to smash their phone with a hammer!
There really isn't much to say about the gameplay, because it's pretty simple — tap the screen to punch the bad guys. That's ... really it.
No, really. Tap the screen. The faster you tap, the faster you punch. The more you tap, the more you punch. It gets really old, really fast.
There are two "modes," so to speak. The Main Event has you up against a wrestler that takes forever to bring down. Oh, and you have to do it in 30 seconds or less.
Have you ever tried tapping on your smartphone screen as fast as you can for 30 seconds? That's not fun. That's not entertainment. That's work. And it sucks.
Once you upgrade your character, this mode gets easier. But if you're out of cash to upgrade with, and are opposed to spending money on in-app purchases, you're going to be tapping. A lot.
And if you lose? You get thrown into the other mode, which as far as I can tell doesn't have a name. Here, you fight against an endless sea of baddies who are easy as hell to fight. I'm talking five taps to finish them off. Once one goes down, another rises up to get knocked down, and so on. It seems to go on forever, until you get your shot at the Main Event again. Fun.
Sure, the game throws some extra goodies in the mix — you can have up to five fighters at a time punch away with you, and you can collect many, many more fighters to choose from. These fighters are essentially robots, punching the opponent at their own pace. You can do two things with them — upgrade them over time, and activate their special moves.
The special moves have a latency period after each use, and certain move types are more or less effective against certain players, so there is an element of strategy to using them. However, that doesn't take away from the core experience, as it's just one extra tap in the myriad of taps you make against opponents.
I don't think I've ever thought the word monotony more than I am writing this article, but that's exactly what this game is ...
Well, there's usually no music. Just the sound of endless punching. This is one game where I'd strongly recommend no headphones. That punching sound hurts after 4,000 taps. The announcers are annoying as well, thankfully only giving their two cents once every, say, 10 seconds.
You would probably enjoy this game more with the sound muted. Nor by not playing at all.
The graphics are ... fine. The character designs are unoffensive, the animations are decent. But here's the thing — the screen is so bloated.
Look at this mess!
What the hell is going on? Why does my screen need to be so cluttered with nonsense? I get that this is the look of most freemium games, but why does it have to be this way?
Every screen is just packed with icons, text, characters, and all around shiny things to take your attention away from the GAME.
What could be more important than the game, you might ask? Well ...
Now, to be fair, WWE Tap Mania doesn't have the most obnoxious in-app purchases I've seen. You can play the game without feeling completely bombarded by micro-transactions.
That doesn't change the fact this game has some stupid in-app purchases.
You collect additional characters as cards, which means they come inside packs of cards. Kind of an interesting concept, but ruined by some ridiculous prices. "Special deals" get you packs of cards for $1.99, which is ... whatever. But scroll down, and you can snag certain packs for as low as $24.99.
Virtual cards. $24.99. Are you joking?
Among the rest of the purchases include the staples of modern mobile gaming — gold bars for making purchases in the first place, boosts so you can actually beat certain enemies without pulling your hair out ...
I hate freemium games. Can you tell?
If there's one good thing to say about this game, it's that there are no ads. I actually didn't notice at first, because I was so enthralled in the hellscape of Tap Mania. But yeah, no ads. In a freemium game. Except for the option to watch an ad for in-game currency, but that's optional.
Huh. Lost a bit of anger for a second there. Where was I? Oh, right.
This game is bad. It's not fun. There's no basis for it to become fun. If you're that much of a wrestling fan that being able to collect your favorite fighters makes this soul-destroying, repetitive tap-marathon enjoyable for you, we just disagree on some fundamental things, and I don't think we'd ever be able to get along in real life.
+ no ads
– mind-numbing gameplay
– stupid in-app purchases
– bloated game windows
– horrible sound that will follow me into my nightmares
I hesitate to give this game a one because I've seen the truly dark side of the App Store. So:
This review is our opinion based on the quality of the game, factoring in things like gameplay, storyline, advertisements, cost and in-app purchases, and touch controls.
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